The Santa Claus Debate
Santa Claus or Not
Whether to let your child believe in Santa Claus or not has been a big discussion among the Christian community for quite a while and thus started the Santa Debate.
I grew up in a Christian home, went to a Bible teaching church and a Christian high school. I ran into a lot of people that didn’t want their children believing in Santa Claus. The household I grew up in, and the household I raised my children in, were not among the Santa unbelievers.
Center of Christmas Celebration
As a Christian, I believe that the main emphasis of the Christmas season should be honoring and celebrating the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. I believe that the important lesson from the season is the lesson of giving. During this time of the year, we should be finding ways to give of ourselves, expecting nothing in return. Much like God did when He gave us His precious Son, Jesus.
Jesus was the center of our Christmas season but we also believed in Santa Claus. Children believe in a lot of things when they are young that they will eventually out grow. They believe in monsters under their beds, that they will never ever want to leave home, and little girls believe they will grow up and marry their daddies. I do not believe it is harmful to let children believe in these things when they are young, but how you handle it when they start asking questions can be the tricky part.
When the Questions Come
I appreciate the way my mother handled the questions. She wouldn’t lie to us, but rather ask us questions to find out what we believed (and probably more importantly, what we wanted to believe).
When we would go to her and ask, “Is Santa real?” She would ask us, “What do you think?” Then we would have a discussion about it. Once your child gets old enough to look you in the face and ask if you are Santa, then its time to tell the truth. Of course, if you think they are still too young to tell them the truth about Santa you can try a few questions first like, “What do you think?” If they say they don’t believe you could be Santa, they will probably give you reasons like, “You couldn’t be Santa because you don’t have a sleigh.” If they give you an answer like that, then they probably aren’t ready to give up the idea of Santa but if they say something more like, “I think you are Santa because I saw some of the same toys that Santa brought in the back of your closet.” Then the jig is up and you should tell them the truth.
When I Found Out
I was somewhere around seven or eight years old when I had to face the realization that my parents were Santa Claus. My mom thinks that I had all ready figured it out but I was enjoying the fantasy. It was my younger sister that brought the fantasy to an end. She was between three and four years old. She went to our mom, looked her in the eyes and said, “Tell me the truth! Are you and daddy Santa Claus?” Well, with a straightforward question like that mom had no choice but to tell her. Mom says that based on the reaction I had towards my little sister, I must have all ready suspected that they were acting as Santa Claus. I took my sister back to our bedroom and with tears running down my face I said, “Now you ruined it!”
My Reaction to the Truth
I may have been upset at my sister for blowing Christmas and Santa for me, but I was quite impressed and thankful for all that my parents had done for us and given us, without any recognition. For all those years, the love and gratitude for most of the presents had gone to Santa Claus. Now I was realizing that it was mom and dad that had spent all that money and had stayed up most of the night putting together toys and setting them around the Christmas tree.
Our Updated Santa Claus Visits
My parents were wonderful in the fact that even though we now knew the truth as to who Santa really was, he still came to visit as long as we wanted to “believe”. We did the same thing for our children. “Santa” wasn’t quite as extravagant in the years after the truth was revealed, but he still brought a few things and filled stockings.
Right now “Santa” only brings a few things for my husband and my stocking since the children are now grown and gone. Yes, I still believe in Santa Claus and I still enjoy being Santa Claus. I’m sure that I always will.
Related Posts:
The True Meaning of Christmas
Christmas Angels to Laugh and Learn With
The Christmas Star
Love to Learn About the Nativity
Yanique says
This is a fantastic post! I love the suggestion to ask kids what they think to find out what they want to believe in. Never thought of doing that.
Mama Carmody says
I still like to believe in Santa!
Leslie says
Beautiful post. My son is in the 8th grade and still believes! My daughter is 11 and is, I believe, suspicious. I handle it as you describe, by asking questions back at them. I know that I wanted to keep believing as long as possible. And my big kids never actually said anything when they stopped believing. So Santa still brings things to them as well. As far as what is most important, I have a decoration of Santa kneeling at the Manger. That kind of sums up my feelings–Santa and Jesus can both be a part of your celebration, but even Santa knows who he is serving.
Mama Carmody says
I should look for an ornament like that. Since Saint Nicholas is actually based on a real Saint that worshiped God that makes your ornament quite accurate.
Emily says
I like this post for 2 reasons. One we stress the most important part of Christmas is Jesup as well. Two, it’s OK to also have Santa for children. I like the way your mom deflected the Santa questions. That is kind of how we handle them . Santa is a fun belief for kids and I think you can have Santa as a Christian and still teach them about Jesus.
Mama Carmody says
I totally agree. Thanks for sharing.
Allison (funfamily.vacations) says
Santa only brings a few gifts to our house. I am not sure how many more years they will believe.
Mama Carmody says
I still like to believe. I can still tear up during a Christmas movie or when I see a particularly good Santa Claus.
shweta jain says
My 7 year old told me last year…. “I know who the Santa is, but I won’t mind getting gifts”. This year too I plan to gift her books to read, which is a fan of.
Mama Carmody says
Santa brought presents to my girls until they moved out of the house and were on their own. Now we look forward to Christmas and Santa with our grandson.
E Lenze says
We do Santa. Sometimes I wish we did not and sometimes I do not mind. We try to make it more about the birth of Jesus and much sure we talk about it as much as can. We even make a birthday cake on Christmas day. My kids are 7 and already my daughter is questioning if Santa is real. My son has not bother to question, but that is the way he is. I think I have an idea of how to let them know one day Santa is not “real” per se, but the he once was and the idea about Santa. I think I am going to have the conversation sooner than later. My neighbor just told her son about this issue and she got away with it until this year and he’s in 7th grade. He’s the sweetest boy and I am sure it broke her heart to do so.
Mama Carmody says
Oh, wow, that’s so sweet that your neighbor’s son is in the 7th grade and still believed in Santa. I love pretend so (although I don’t remember) I probably had some idea who Santa was but loved the idea of him and didn’t want it to end. Once my girls found out the truth, I told them it was up to them if they still wanted to “believe” (make-believe) and Santa would still come to visit. He did until they moved out on their own. Have a blessed Christmas.
robbie @ mom hats and more says
My daughter last year left a note: Are you real, circle yes or no? 🙂
Mama Carmody says
Oh dear, how did you handle that one?
robbie @ mom hats and more says
The note disappeared. 🙂
Mama Carmody says
What note disappeared?
Holly says
I was five and neighborhood friends who were older than me told me that Santa wasn’t real. When I asked my mom about it, the look on her face told me the truth. From what I remember, I was disappointed, but not devastated. My kids are two and three and we have let them believe in Santa. When the time comes when they ask if Santa is real, I will ask them what they think and go from there. I don’t want to devastate them, but I won’t outright lie to them either.
Mama Carmody says
I totally agree with your approach, Holly.
Emily Fenicle says
Great post. This is such a difficult topic as your children get older on how to explain. We try to focus on the spirit of Christmas within Santa’s heart. He gives much more than he receives, as we all should. Thanks for some more reminders of explaining what he represents.
Crystal says
I grew up in a no-Santa home, and have very happy Christmas memories. My husband did Santa as a kid, and wanted to do Santa with our boys. They get one present from Santa, and the rest come from mom and dad. We don’t take them to see Santa, and don’t really make a big deal of him, but the boys do like to talk about him and get excited that he is coming. We also like to watch the NORAD Santa Tracker online on Christmas Eve! We’ve found a balance that works for us!
Mama Carmody says
It’s great when families can find a compromise. It’s nice that your husband’s traditions can be incorporated without making Santa the center of the holiday. Have a very Merry Christmas!
Sunita says
Oh my, you are early.Looks like fun, though. One of our fairtvoe Christmas ornament is a cardborad Santa mobile made by Donald’s dad. The eyes are two pingpong balls. We’ve made a lot of them over the years as gifts for family and friends.
kcarmody says
That sounds really cute. I loved making Christmas ornaments with my kids when they were young. Most of them still hang on our tree.
Caroline says
What an interesting realization. The fact that your parents had been giving for so long with no thought of recognition or thanks. I never looked at it that way before.
I figure we won’t let my children believe – my oldest is 3 years and my baby is 4 mos – because we can not afford many presents. Like only one. But, they rack up from their grandparents!!
It is, indeed, and interesting debate. I believed until I was about 10!
kcarmody says
I can totally understand that the Santa thing could be a money issue. We wouldn’t be able to afford being “Santa” right now either so thankfully our girls are grown. Hopefully, we will be in a better financial state by the time we have grandkids. One of the ways we were able to handle the extra spending (when the girls were young) was that I would buy presents all through the year, when we found them on sale or cheap. Then I would hide them until Christmas.
Alexis says
Well, not to be a Debbie Downer, but I did not believe in Santa Claus growing up. I was raised in a Christian home too, and we were all about church and Christ. I knew my mom and dad bought my Christmas gifts and I loved it. My dad would have me write a list of all the things I wanted each year and he did his best to get them all. For me Christmas was a time of family gatherings, gift giving, great food and fun. It had nothing to do with Santa. As an adult I appreciate the fact that I didn’t believe in something that wasn’t real. I watched movies and always knew Santa was make-believe and it never affected me. And I don’t plan on teaching my future kids about Santa either. No disrespect to your stories and your beliefs, just a difference in opinion. 🙂
kcarmody says
Hi Alexis. Thank you for sharing your Christmas celebration. I understand where you and your parents are coming from. I considered not involving Santa in our holiday activities but I have such wonderful memories about Santa Claus visiting. I was overwhelmed at all my parents had done for me once I realized that Santa wasn’t real. Like I said in the post, Christ’s birth was the center of our holiday and our real reason for celebrating the season. I really appreciate that you shared your story. I didn’t feel any disrespect in what you shared and I totally respect and understand your beliefs.
Jim says
I’m not a super religious person but I think what you wrote sums it up perfect. I see nothing wrong in letting children believe in Santa Claus. Well written post. I was like you, even though I suspected Santa wasn’t real, I didn’t want my parents to know for fear there’d be no more gifts!!
kcarmody says
I still talk as if Santa is a real person. I am just one of those people that enjoys make-believe. That’s probably why I enjoyed teaching preschool so much.
Corri says
Hey Karen, love the blog … and I’m so for Santa Claus. At the heart of Santa is generosity, and what better way to teach that than through a story … or should I rephrase that parable.
Learning through stories is a tradition found in the Bible, and yes, as maturity is achieved so is the unraveling of the story.
Thanks for sharing. Corri
kcarmody says
That’s a very good point, that Santa Claus is kind of a parable for kindness and generosity. I had never thought of it that way. Thanks for sharing your insight.